I? Me? Which Gets Used When?

I get asked this a lot. Just this past week, several folks asked me how to determine whether to use “me” or “I” in a sentence. The answer comes down to where the pronoun gets placed.

English uses different kinds of pronouns. We all know the basic subjective ones: I, you, he, she and it (singular subjective pronouns), and we, you and they (plural subjective pronouns). Despite recent usage and popular insistence to the contrary, “they” is not a singular pronoun. Subjective pronouns get used as the subject of a sentence.

We’ve also got objective pronouns. No, they aren’t the ones that are unbiased or impartial; they’re not grammatical Switzerland. These are: me, you, him, her and it (singular objective pronouns) and us, you and them (plural objective pronouns). Objective pronouns get used as the object of a sentence.

You’d never say, “Me went to the store to buy cookies,” unless, of course, you’re Cookie Monster. (But then you’d say, “Me went store buy cookies!”) But human you would say, “I went to the store to buy cookies.” You’d use “I” because it’s the subject of the sentence – so you’d use the subjective pronoun.

But if you’re using a pronoun as the object of a sentence, always use the objective pronouns: “Jim bought a chicken sandwich for me.” You would never say, “Jim bought a chicken sandwich for I.”

Pretty basic. Right?

Now let’s take a look at compound subjects and compound objects. Here’s where the butchery of the English language really drives me nuts – especially when I hear teachers (who should know better!) using the incorrect pronouns.

You should never – I repeat (emphatically and vociferously), NEVER – say, “Me and Catherine went to the mall.” Or even, “Catherine and me went to the mall.” If the pronoun is the subject of the sentence, you always use a subjective pronoun. And if more than one person is involved – either as the subject or the object – you always mention yourself last.

In this case, you would say, “Catherine and I went to the mall.”

Likewise, you would never say “Him and me went to the store.” Those are both objective pronouns. You’d say, “He and I went to the store.”

And here’s an example of a compound object: “Pete went to the movies with Gary and me.” Not, “Pete went to the movies with Gary and I.”

If you need another clue as to whether to use I or me in compound structure, try removing the other person from the sentence: “I went to the mall.” And “Pete went to the movies with me.” Not only do you save $10 on Gary’s movie ticket, but you can be confident you’re grammatically correct.

In short: Never begin a sentence with “Me”; and never end a sentence with “I.”

About the Author:
Rita M. Reali is an international award-winning author and longtime editor who most enjoys editing memoir, general fiction and romance, along with inspirational writing. She’s self-published five novels: Glimpse of Emerald, Diagnosis: Love, The Unintended Hero, Second Chances and Tender Mercies – the first five in the seven-volume Sheldon Family Saga. The sixth novel in the series, Brothers by Betrayal, is scheduled for an early 2024 release. Her first children’s book, The Purringest Kitty Finds His Home, is due out before Christmas. As a former disc jockey in her native Connecticut, Rita used to spend her days “talking to people who weren’t there” – a skill which transferred perfectly to her being an author. Now she talks to characters who aren’t there on “a little chunk of heaven in rural Tennessee.” Contact Rita.