Ai-ai-ai! It’s AI!

I subscribe to a weekly newsletter from a woman in Sweden whose work I first encountered through a children’s book-writing summit last year. Last week she mentioned the infiltration of artificial intelligence into the world of wordsmithery. Admittedly, I didn’t pay much attention to it then. Then this week, her newsletter revisited AI. And then (as if that weren’t creepy enough) last night, my husband brought up the cheery little notion that eventually AI would replace me professionally. Gee, thanks, honey. I wonder if AI will cook and do laundry, too. Not to mention clean the litter box.

But seriously, it’s something to consider, given the recent proliferation of AI within the online marketplace. Who hasn’t used predictive text when doing a Google search, or the “chat” feature on a company’s customer-service page?

That said, it wouldn’t be implausible to consider employing the same technology to help with the generation of blog posts. That’s not to say I don’t enjoy writing these posts; but it’d be nice to have the option to delegate writing duties from time to time.

And so, I decided to put OpenAI’s Chat GPT to the test. First, I asked it to explain why the Oxford comma is unnecessary. This is what it generated:

The Oxford comma, also known as the serial comma, is the comma used before the coordinating conjunction (usually “and” or “or”) in a list of three or more items. Its use is a matter of style, and there are arguments for and against its use. Here are some reasons why some people believe the Oxford comma is unnecessary:

1. Clarity: Some argue that the Oxford comma is not necessary for clarity because the meaning of a sentence can still be easily understood without it. The items in a list are separated by commas, making it clear that they are separate items, regardless of whether there is an additional comma before the coordinating conjunction.
2. Conciseness: Omitting the Oxford comma can make a sentence shorter and less cluttered. In situations where space is limited, such as in headlines or tweets, omitting the Oxford comma can help save valuable characters.
3. Consistency: Some style guides, such as The Chicago Manual of Style and The New York Times Manual of Style and Usage, do not require the use of the Oxford comma. Adopting a consistent style within a publication or organization can make editing and proofreading easier.
4. Tradition: The use of the Oxford comma is a relatively recent development in the history of punctuation. The Oxford comma is not used in the King James Version of the Bible, for example, and it has been argued that it is not necessary in order for a sentence to be clear and grammatically correct.

It is worth noting that opinions on the use of Oxford comma vary and some people might prefer to use it for clarity, consistency or tradition. Ultimately, whether to use the Oxford comma or not is a matter of personal style and choice.

Next, I asked it to produce a paragraph of text without the letter “e” in it. This one proved more difficult:

“It is a tricky task to compltly avoid a lttr in our writing. It is vn impossibl to do so in a long txt as “e” is a vry common lttr in th English lnguag”

When pressed further, it came up with this:

“It can b a bit difficult to writ a paragraph without using a common lttr lik “e”. W’ll try to do so, but it might b tough. It’s a bit lik a gam, trying to avoid th commonst lttr in th alphabet. You might think that it’s not that important, but it can b a fun way to practice thinking outsid th box. You’ll b surprised at how many words you can think of that don’t hav “e” in thm. It’s also a good way to practice concision and word choice.”

It seems AI would have been smart enough to use “totally” instead of “compltly” and “most common” instead of “commonst” – but that’s just plain ol’ HI – you know… human intelligence.

While the technology is still in its infancy (and that absolutely terrifies me!), what Chat GPT already can do is remarkable. Take, for instance, this gem, in response to user Thomas H. Ptacek’s directive, “Write a biblical verse in the style of the King James Bible explaining how to remove a peanut butter sandwich from a VCR.”

Perhaps in the coming weeks, I’ll toy with incorporating some AI-generated content in my blog posts. But when I do, I’ll be sure to let you know I had an assist.

One point in my favor regarding AI is it won’t replace my novel writing… at least not anytime soon. When directed, “Write a scene between Gary Sheldon and Michael Conwaye, characters from the Sheldon Family Saga,” it responded thus:

“I am sorry but I don’t have any information about a Sheldon Family Saga. Could you please provide more context or specify what you want the scene to be about?”

Hmm… do you suppose that means I need to heighten my marketing tactics with an AI audience in mind?

About the Author:
Rita M. Reali is a two-time international award-winning author and longtime editor who most enjoys editing memoir, general fiction and romance, along with inspirational writing. She’s self-published five novels: Glimpse of Emerald, Diagnosis: Love, The Unintended Hero, Second Chances and Tender Mercies – the first five in the seven-volume Sheldon Family Saga. The sixth novel in the series, Brothers by Betrayal, is scheduled for an early 2024 release. Her first children’s book, The Purringest Kitty Finds His Home, is due out sometime in 2023. As a former disc jockey in her native Connecticut, Rita used to spend her days “talking to people who weren’t there” – a skill which transferred perfectly to her being an author. Now she talks to characters who aren’t there on “a little chunk of heaven in rural Tennessee.” Contact Rita.

Time to Go to Your Window and Look for Flying Pigs

Yep, it’s finally happened. I’ve stepped boldly into the twenty-first century. No, I didn’t get one of those new-fangled electric cars… and I haven’t upgraded to a smartphone (I’m still firmly – and sentimentally – attached to my Kyocera flip phone). However, I did do two things this past week I never really expected to do – at least not anytime soon.

The first monumental occurrence was my appearance as a guest on a podcast. I’d met one of the hosts during a book-launch webinar presented by publishing maven extraordinaire Alexa Bigwarfe (the driving force behind the annual Women in Publishing Summit). In the Zoom chat, fellow attendee S.D. Huston happened to mention she hosted a podcast. I contacted her after the webinar to learn more about it and ask about being a guest. We exchanged emails, one thing led to another and bingo, bango, bongo, bob’s-yer-uncle, I got scheduled for a recording date.

They sent me a list of questions (so I could be prepared with responses and not feel like a total dolt during the recording) and I provided a few questions I enjoy answering; then I waited for August 11 to roll around. Admittedly, I stayed up way too late the night before, but I slept late the morning of the interview and even forwent my daily jaunt to the pool. Anyone who knows me knows how seldom that happens! I didn’t want to be yawning through the interview; that would have made a horrible impression.

Anxiety aside, my primary concern that morning was the stability of our internet connection. The only thing I truly dislike about life in rural Tennessee is the internet. The words iffy, tenuous and lousy all come to mind. The better of our two providers (we need two because hubby and I both work from home and rely on stable internet) is a satellite connection. The only problem with the satellite connection is that when it rains, it tends to drop. We’d had rain most of the week and service had already dropped on my husband once during a meeting that morning. Preparing for the worst, I let the hosts know about the potential for a drop, as it was still raining as our scheduled interview time approached. If that happened, they said they’d just wait ’til I was able to reconnect.

Fortunately, the rain stopped, the internet connection behaved itself, and we conducted our hour-long interview uninterrupted. We discussed everything from story ideas and marketing to cover art, editing and how to find – and work with – a professional editor (after all, I happen to know a thing or three about that). The hosts did extensive research. The episode is due to premiere Thursday, September 1. And because timing is everything (wouldn’t you know it?), our long-awaited Starlink equipment showed up this afternoon.

The second notable incident came as a result of my appearance on the Self Publishing Tips & Tricks podcast: I registered the web domain ritamreali.com. Don’t bother going there before September 1. You won’t find anything just yet – but I had to bite the proverbial bullet, because during the course of the podcast, I gave that web address as a location where folks could find my books. So you get three guesses as to what I’ll be doing all this week.

Maybe one of these years I’ll actually give in and buy a smartphone. But it won’t be anytime soon… at least not ’til I figure out how to get all the photos of my cat off the darn thing without emailing them to myself… one at a time. Hey, I already implied I was a technological dork. Did you really need to make me spell it out for you?

As if that weren’t sufficient evidence of my reluctance to embrace new technology, I could add I’m writing this post on a 12-year-old laptop whose colors went all wonky four days ago and I have no earthly idea what the image accompanying this post actually looks like. As near as I can tell, it’s someone using a keyboard in front of a trio of monitors: a laptop, what looks like a large-screen TV and a standard computer monitor. If not, my apologies, because that’s what I’d envisioned it as.

Meantime, I’ve got another laptop on which I can build my website. To that end, I’ve conjured several ideas about how I want my site to look, but I’m still entertaining other notions. What are your favorite author websites? Drop one or two into the comments. Thanks!

About the Author:
Rita M. Reali is an international award-winning author and longtime editor who most enjoys editing memoir, general fiction and romance, along with inspirational writing. She’s self-published five novels: Glimpse of Emerald, Diagnosis: Love, The Unintended Hero, Second Chances and Tender Mercies – the first five in the seven-volume Sheldon Family Saga. The sixth novel in the series, Brothers by Betrayal, is scheduled for an early 2024 release. Her first children’s book, The Purringest Kitty Finds His Home, is due out before Christmas. As a former disc jockey in her native Connecticut, Rita used to spend her days “talking to people who weren’t there” – a skill which transferred perfectly to her being an author. Now she talks to characters who aren’t there on “a little chunk of heaven in rural Tennessee.” Contact Rita.

“Just Let Me Staple the Vicar” and Other Hilarious Mondegreens We’ve All Sung

I’m going to take a wild guess and estimate a third of the American population has no idea what a mondegreen is, although I’d venture to say virtually everyone in the U.S. has encountered one or two.

According to Merriam-Webster, a mondegreen is “a word or phrase that results from a mishearing especially of something recited or sung.”

The phenomenon – indeed, the word itself – originated with Sylvia Wright, from her November 1954 story published in Harper’s in which she related how she misheard the lyrics of a Scottish folksong as a child. The song in question, “The Bonny Earl of Morray,” featured the line, “Oh, they have slain the Earl o’ Morray and laid him on the green.” Having misinterpreted the lyric, Wright understood it to be, “Oh, they have slain the Earl o’ Morray and Lady Mondegreen.”

This makes perfect sense, because kids will often attempt to make sense of what they hear based on what’s familiar to them. One friend’s children, having no frame of reference as to what a jukebox is, interpreted the line in Joan Jett’s “I Love Rock & Roll” as “put another dime in the juice box, baby.”

When I was a kid in 1973, I was sure Paul Simon was begging his mother not to take his “coat and comb” away instead of his “Kodachrome.”

Across musicdom, as long as there’s been popular music, misheard lyrics have abounded. How many times have you wondered why Jimi Hendrix sang, “Excuse me while I kiss this guy?” No need to claim you were amidst your own personal purple haze; we’ve all heard it that way.

And who hasn’t – deliberately or not – sung “there’s a bathroom on the right” instead of the actual lyric, “there’s a bad moon on the rise”? Although, arguably, it might just as well have been “there’s a baboon on the rice.”

Anyone who’s ever listened to Derek and the Dominos’ rock classic “Layla” has surely pondered Clapton’s horribly mumbled first line. A radio colleague said he’d always heard it as, “What do you do with milk and coffee?” I think the actual line goes something like “What will you do when you get lonely?” I prefer his version – and just between you and me, I still sing it that way.

When Kansas’ song “Carry On Wayward Son” first came out, this same colleague thought the line “Lay your weary head to rest” was about some tired guy, coincidentally named Layo Weary, who had to sit down for a moment: Layo Weary had to rest.

On my way to work one morning, I nearly drove off the road laughing when I misheard a line from the Rolling Stones’ “Waiting on a Friend” as “don’t need a purging priest” (instead of the actual “virgin priest”).

An impromptu internet search this afternoon turned up such errant gems as “Hit Me with Your Pet Shark,” “Paint the Bag Brighter” (instead of “Paperback Writer”), “Hold me closer, Tony Danza” and this fabulous misheard ’60s Dylan anthem: “the ants are my friends, they’re blowin’ in the wind.”

One friend mistook Aerosmith’s “Love in an Elevator” as “Lovin’ the Alligator.” This same friend tells of the time she was in a car filled with teens from her church youth group and a Mr. Mister song came on. When the chorus came around, she belted out, “Give Me a Laser Gun,” having no inkling the group was singing “Kyrie Eleison.”

The first line of AC/DC’s “You Shook Me All Night Long” sounds remarkably like “She was a fax machine.”

The chorus of “I’m a Believer” has been misheard as, “Then I saw her face, now I’m gonna leave her.”

Then there’s this misheard line from “Africa” by Toto: “There’s nothing that a hundred men on Mars could ever do”; the actual words are “a hundred men or more.”

And admit it, in “Rocket Man” by Elton John… you never knew what he was singing at the end of the chorus, did you? I know I didn’t. Fortunately, this 2012 Volkswagen commercial clears it all up. Now you know. You’re welcome.

This article from the New Yorker explains the phenomenon of the mondegreen, and even discusses something known as the McGurk effect, in which – devoid of appropriate context – listeners may be persuaded to hear one consonant sound instead of another.

Examples of the McGurk effect run rampant through this hilarious video from Peter Kay. I won’t spoil it for you; suffice to say I’ll never hear “We Are Family” the same way again. Same goes for Shania Twain’s “That Don’t Impress Me Much.”

You can even buy books of misheard lyrics. Years ago this book by Gavin Edwards amused me endlessly. Unfortunately, in the three ensuing household moves, it’s disappeared, so I’ve recently had to replace it. One misheard lyric I recall from that book is from the Beach Boys’ “Help Me, Rhonda” and it goes a little something like this: “Well, since you put me down, there’ve been owls puking in my bed.” Hard to forget a line like that, eh? I’ll leave it to you to track down what the lyric really is ’cause I can’t bear to disappoint you with reality when the mondegreen is so much fun to sing!

Okay, fess up, what are some classic song lyrics you’ve misheard?

About the Author:
Rita M. Reali is an international award-winning author and longtime editor who most enjoys editing memoir, general fiction and romance, along with inspirational writing. She’s self-published four novels: Glimpse of Emerald, Diagnosis: Love, The Unintended Hero and Second Chances – the first four in the seven-volume Sheldon Family Saga. Her fifth novel, Tender Mercies, comes out in June. As a former disc jockey in her native Connecticut, Rita used to spend her days “talking to people who weren’t there” – a skill which transferred perfectly to her being an author. Now she talks to characters who aren’t there on “a little chunk of heaven in rural Tennessee.” Contact Rita.

A Hearty Hip-Hip Hooray to Freelance Writers!

Bet’cha didn’t know there’s such a thing as Freelance Writers Appreciation Week.

There is… it’s the second week of February. Since I’m never sure whether that means the second calendar week or the second full week of February, I figured there’s little harm in observing it a bit early. Better earlier than later, right? I mean, seriously, what’s the worst that can happen? I might get an official reprimand from the arbiters of premature national observances. Then again, that would be kind of awful, wouldn’t it? That’s exactly the kind of thing that goes down on your permanent record. And we don’t want that, do we?

Sure we do! We’re no meek little rule observers, you and I. We’re the worst kind of literary scofflaws, for crying out loud. So put on your hats, don your silly goggles and what have you, cast your cares to the wind and let’s get ready to celebrate.

If you’re a freelance writer, first of all, here’s to you! Kudos on putting yourself out there in the big world of writing. If you’re not a freelancer but would like to be, you’re in luck. There’s a website dedicated solely to you and your efforts at plying your craft for fun and profit. It’s called, oddly enough, Freelance Writing. Who would have known? Turns out, it’s been around for a goodly amount of time – twenty-five years.

What will you find at said site? you ask. Information, dear reader! And opportunities aplenty! The site not only connects freelance writing professionals like you with folks who are looking to have content written, but it features a job board (through which you can search available writing opportunities); it also offers a wealth of articles and other resources for writing pros, as well as a section on writing contests to enter.

Just be aware: When I checked out their contests in researching this post, I noticed their deadlines for every single contest were all in the past – as in more than a year ago in some instances; so maybe don’t rely on them so much for contests. But the other info seems fairly reliable and up-to-date.

You could also check out Freelancer.com for freelance opportunities. This website caters to more than just writers. It purports to have “expert freelancers” who work in “every technical, professional, and creative field imaginable.” That’s considerably more broad based than freelance writing, but I guess these days you can hire someone to do just about anything.

And who says there’s no such thing as cross-promotion? An article on the Freelance Writing site touts ten top tips to “land your first writing gig at Freelancer.com.” I would caution you, however, that some of the info you find may be outdated. Links in that article to two other freelance sites (Elance.com and Odesk.com) now both redirect to UpWork.com, another site that connects freelance writers and other creative professionals with those seeking to have various projects completed. Other such sites include Guru.com and Fiverr.com.

Whatever your particular writing proclivity, you’re likely to find someone looking for it on one of the freelance writer websites. So go forth and celebrate your writerly self… and then get back to work. After all, that article isn’t going to write itself.

About the Author:
Rita M. Reali is an international award-winning author and longtime editor who most enjoys editing memoir, general fiction and romance, along with inspirational writing. She’s self-published four novels: Glimpse of Emerald, Diagnosis: Love, The Unintended Hero and Second Chances – the first four in the seven-volume Sheldon Family Saga. Her fifth novel, Tender Mercies, comes out in June. As a former disc jockey in her native Connecticut, Rita used to spend her days “talking to people who weren’t there” – a skill which transferred perfectly to her being an author. Now she talks to characters who aren’t there on “a little chunk of heaven in rural Tennessee.” Contact Rita.

Does An Abbreviated Stint in Facebook Jail Make Me a Criminal?

This week I learned just how dangerous a little supposed knowledge can be. I also learned how moronic Facebook’s language-patrol algorithms are.

Earlier this week, a friend posted a pun about crows. It was about birds of a feather sticking together; the punch line mentioned something about velcrows. Ha ha. Funny stuff. Really clever, actually.

Of course, being the stupendous snark machine I am, I responded to the woman who posted it something to the effect that someone ought to murder her for that pun about a group of crows. It’s a little on the nose for me to point out the pun in my response was that a group of crows is called a murder (but I tell you this in case you weren’t aware of that).

A murder of crows. Amusing if you’ve been around a while and happen to have a certain awareness of the English language.

Easy to take as a threat of violence if you happen to be Facebook.

Which is what they did. I thought it was odd that I could still Like people’s posts, but none of my comments would post. The Facebook Police eventually got around to informing me a comment I’d posted was inappropriate and constituted a threat of violence – one which violated their community standards. So they advised me I’d been tossed into the cyber hoosegow for three days because of my apparent inability to play well with others.

It might not have been so bad if that hadn’t been my <gasp> second strike in three months. Back in July, one of my cousins, responding to someone’s post about not having taken the time to listen to the older generation’s stories back when we were young. She commented, “I could just kick myself for not listening to them back when I was young.”

In an effort to be helpful (or tongue in cheek, as the case may be), I replied, “Don’t do that, Gloria; I’d be happy to kick you.”

Clearly, the Facebots have no sense of humor, artificial or otherwise. They removed my comment because it threatened and incited violence. Sheesh! Can’t these boneheads take a joke? I took a screen shot of it and messaged it to my cousin. She thought it was hilarious and said she wouldn’t have expected anything different from me (she’s known me all my life and knows what a smartass I am).

So after my second offense, I was summarily dumped into a cyber jail cell, left to rattle the bars of my pretend cage for three days. Well, I was banned from posting for a day and from participating in any of the groups I manage (effectively throttling my business).

While perusing their scolding message, I noticed an option to contest their decision – which I did. I didn’t let me present any kind of defense (I didn’t even get to stand up and yell, “I object!”). They just said they’d look into it.

Almost a day later (when my basic “sentence” was almost up anyway), I learned the Language Police had reversed their decision. Of course, they never admitted they were wrong to cast me into Facebook jail; they just said they’d determined I hadn’t violated their community standards after all, and my comment had been put back up where it belonged. How kind of them.

So, dear readers, beware. It’s no longer fiction. The Orwellian Thought Police are out in full force. Beware what you say on Facebook – especially if you happen to be well versed in the English language. Remember: They don’t like it when you’re smarter than they are.

After all, as we all know: Idiom is only one letter removed from Idiot.

About the Author:
Rita M. Reali is an international award-winning author and longtime editor who most enjoys editing memoir, general fiction and romance, along with inspirational writing. She’s self-published four novels: Glimpse of Emerald, Diagnosis: Love, The Unintended Hero and Second Chances – the first four in the seven-volume Sheldon Family Saga. Her fifth novel, Tender Mercies, is due out next June. As a former disc jockey in her native Connecticut, Rita used to spend her days “talking to people who weren’t there” – a skill which transferred perfectly to her being an author. Now she talks to characters who aren’t there on “a little chunk of heaven in rural Tennessee.” Contact Rita.

A Celebration of Independence… from Big Publishers

This year, in honor of Independence Day, I’d like to offer a different take on independence and shine a spotlight on some of my favorite indie authors. Most of them are folks whose writing I’ve edited, or whom I’ve recently shepherded through the publishing process. But first among them is someone I met as a member of the Fabulous Fictional Five (a merry little band of writers in Connecticut), who was the first of us to publish a book.

Rev. Dr. Peter R.K. Brenner is a retired Congregational minister who began life in WWII Germany, born into the Nazi Lebensborn program. Over the course of Behind the Smile: Orphaned By Hitler’s Madness (Xlibris), Peter uncovers what lay beneath his lifelong dread of crying babies and his terror at the wail of sirens. This memoir is a gripping read. His second book, Prayers for the Essence of Our Spiritual Life, is available exclusively through his family’s website, with all proceeds going to the Alzheimer’s Family Support Center in Brewster, Massachusetts.

Mummy: A Journey Home is an autobiography by Darren Timothy Numer (rndproductionsla/Steel Star Publishing). This heartbreaking – although sometimes hilarious – book tracks Darren’s life in and out of the ’70s foster-care system near Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, through homelessness, prostitution and drug addiction… to an astonishing conclusion. As I wrote in his Amazon book description, it’s “a tale of survival against – and triumph over – the bitterest of odds. And love that outlasts everything.”

To Win Hearts and Minds: Vietnam to Iraq is retired colonel Terry J. Mitchell’s memoir of life and service in the U.S. Army. Weaving in his love of music and his service in the U.S. Court system, Terry offers a compelling firsthand account of historical events as they shaped his life and military career.

Linnhe McCarron… where do I begin? Linnhe has woven a captivating series of novels in the Riverwood series, novels set in Tennessee’s Big South Fork region. From Fool Me Once, the first book in the five-volume set, right through the exciting conclusion in Far and Away, readers will be swept up in the lives and loves of the residents of the Riverwood horse community.

Christina M. Eder’s KNEE DEEP: A 9-Month Whirlpool of Handwritten Letters to the Creator, book three in the FROG Blog series (Felicity Press), is her most personal foray yet into obedience to the will of God. In it, this inspirational writer embarks on a nine-month celebration of daily missives to the Creator. Frequently thankful, sometimes pondering, often funny, but always genuine, Christina brings the reader on a journey of submission to the divine will.

Peter J. Marzano gleaned the kernel of Litany of Sorrows (Swan Publishers) from a disturbing dream. Some of the best stories come about as the result of dreams and this is no exception. It’s the story of Karl von Richter, a ruthless Nazi SS officer during WWII – and the chilling lengths to which he goes to advance Hitler’s Final Solution – and Katrina Amorino, a young woman on the run from Karl.

There! That ought to get you started on your summer reading adventures. Have a safe and wonderful Independence Day!

About the Author:
Rita M. Reali is an international award-winning author and longtime editor who most enjoys editing memoir, general fiction and romance, along with inspirational writing. She’s self-published three novels: Glimpse of Emerald, Diagnosis: Love and The Unintended Hero – the first three in the seven-volume Sheldon Family Saga – and her fourth novel, Second Chances, is due out next month. As a former disc jockey in her native Connecticut, Rita used to spend her days “talking to people who weren’t there” – a skill which transferred perfectly to her being an author. Now she talks to characters who aren’t there on “a little chunk of heaven in rural Tennessee.” Contact Rita.

Things I Learned at the Women In Publishing Summit

This week’s Women In Publishing Summit 2021 re-energized me as an author. It left me invigorated and ready to take on my current writing projects with a new passion. Plus, information sessions and conversations with fellow editing professionals armed me with new perspectives and vital tools for my editing arsenal.

But I think the most important thing I learned this week is never to underestimate a group of women with a common goal.

As a natural introvert, I customarily shrink into corners and try to avoid being noticed. But the small-group settings in the Zoom chats made me push myself beyond my comfort zone, to actually interact with other live human beings. And the women in these coffee chat groups made it easy to want to engage. Every woman was welcome; each woman was drawn into the conversation. And each woman’s experiences were acknowledged and validated.

And the sessions! Oh, my goodness… the sessions! Individual tracks for fiction, nonfiction and children’s authors, plus a separate “general” category for info that spanned multiple tracks. I still need to finish watching the videos for days three through five of the conference. So glad I’ve got six months to watch and re-watch all these fantastic presentations!

So what did I learn this week? The first thing I learned is projectile vomiting is no way to start a Monday. And when you feel miserable and your internet cuts out for ten minutes in the middle of a live session (the joys of rural living) and you only survive the hour because of that glass of ginger ale in your sweaty little hand, sometimes the best thing is to scrap everything on your schedule and indulge in a bit of self care. I shut down my computer and went to bed. When I woke up four hours later, I felt almost human again and was able to watch a few video presentations. And, boy golly, did I ever learn a lot! Two of my favorite sessions so far were Showing vs. Telling with Eileen Cook and Shayla Raquel‘s Finding Your Antagonist’s Saving Grace.

One of the main things I learned this week is there’s so much more I still need to learn! I need to get my author website functional. I need to build an email list. And I need to amp up my marketing skills in a big way. Whew! And that’s just for starters.

I even learned you can find out some of the most amazing things if you just think to ask.

This afternoon, we had a post-session happy hour. Dozens of attendees from different parts of the globe (the ones who were still awake, at any rate) convened in a Zoom meeting and divided up into small breakout rooms to chat. Many of us had lovely adult beverages to enjoy – which, come to think of it, probably made the conversation flow a little more easily.

After an hour-long chat with one group of participants, I mingled a bit and wandered into another room, where I soon learned one of the women was a medical doctor. When presented the opportunity, I asked whether she could provide some information about my giving a character a brain tumor.

After cheerfully agreeing, Cristy’s initial question/comment to me was an alarmingly enthusiastic, “Do you want her to die? Give her a frontal-lobe tumor.”

That struck my new pal Kate as so hilarious, she felt inspired to post this. And for the record, no, I don’t want her to die. I just needed something that could explain her increasingly erratic and unsettling behavior over a period of several months.

The conference wraps up Monday (International Women’s Day) with the closing keynote address, Why Supporting Women Matters, presented by Desiree Peterkin Bell. But since no event is over until the conclusion of happy hour (another important thing I learned this week), Alexa Bigwarfe and the rest of the organizers have kindly scheduled a wrap-up happy hour event Tuesday evening.

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’ve got to go investigate email-list platforms, figure out how to register a domain name and decide what kind of lovely adult beverage I’m going to whip up for happy hour (can’t leave these things ’til the last minute, you know).

It’s Finally Time for the Women In Publishing Summit

I feel like a little kid waiting for Christmas! Seriously.

It seems as though it’s taken practically forever for March first to hurry up and get here. Ever since I learned I had been selected to present a workshop at the Women In Publishing Summit 2021, it’s felt like the pages on my calendar have been hopelessly stuck together, and the time for the beginning of the Summit would never arrive.

But now it’s here! Well, almost. <cue the raucous dancing and whooping, merriment and general revelry>

This week-long conference, which begins on Monday morning, will feature individual presentations from some 50+ women, each one a designated expert in her respective field – from writing and editing to design, publishing and marketing. Many of the workshops have been pre-recorded, but a handful of the week’s scheduled events will be live panel discussions or Q-and-A sessions with some of the biggest names in the publishing industry today.

And while I’ve got a full plate of editing work at the moment (I just finished one layout project and I’m concurrently making my way through three [yes, three!] manuscript edits), I’ve got this whole week blocked off to participate in the conference. It’s my treat to myself as both an editor and an author. Sure, after 20-plus years as an editor (and more years than I care to admit as an aspiring [and now published] author), I already know a lot about writing and editing, but there’s so much more I don’t know – and I won’t know unless I take the time to learn.

Oh, and while it’s technically called the Women in Publishing Summit, I have it on good authority no one’s going to give you the hairy eyeball if you’re a guy who wants to take part in this fantastic literary opportunity.

You’ve still got an opportunity to sign up. And psst… don’t tell anyone else (oh, okay, go ahead and tell everyone), but apparently, you can still get early-bird pricing ’til the end of February. Just click on this link and follow the prompts and you’ll be good to go. You’ll have access to the whole week of events – yes, including my presentation on character development. And the organizers tell me the sessions will be available to you for six months, so you can watch it according to your own schedule.

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’ve got to get back to editing. And then this evening it’s time for me to drag out the ornaments and put up my Women in Publishing Summit tree. Hey, I said it felt like Christmas… Are you really going to deny me the joy of decorating, or the singing of Women in Publishing Summit carols? Next you’re going to tell me there’s no such thing as Women in Publishing Summit cookies!

Some Writing and Editing Recommendations (Four Books and an Article)

I’ve been doing a fair bit of editing lately… which is a really good thing, considering it’s what I do for a living and I’ve grown really fond of living indoors (especially during these frosty Tennessee winters). That said, I’ve had the honor and privilege of working with some excellent writers over the past several months, authors who not only tell riveting stories, but who are willing to accept recommendations and make revisions to polish their stories so they’re ultimately the best they can be.

I just finished reading a terrific article on Jane Friedman’s website detailing things authors can do to make their books unputdownable (yeah, I know that’s not technically a word, but I’m invoking my literary license to use it, all the same). One recommendation is to create a sense of curiosity for their readers, to make them want to keep turning pages. I find the best authors I work with instinctively seem to know these things.

When aspiring authors ask me for advice on books to read to expand their knowledge of the writing process, I recommend three books: Bird by Bird: Some Instructions on Writing and Life by Anne Lamott; A Writer’s Tool Kit by Carroll Dale Short; and On Writing: A Memoir of the Craft, by Stephen King. I’m about to add a fourth to that list: Cover to Cover: What First-Time Authors Need to Know about Editing by Sandra Wendel. Just released a month ago, this book promises to be a must read! After reading an excerpt from it, I’ve already ordered the paperback from Amazon.

If you’re nearing completion of a manuscript and are looking for an editor to help you, as my business tagline says, “put your best phrase forward,” I’d love to hear from you. Email me and I’d be happy to do a sample edit for you and help you determine whether we’d be a good fit to work together.

Next week, I’m taking a brief hiatus from blogging (I heard that sigh of relief!), so guest blogger Linda Berry will tell us a thing or three about ra— well, I’m not gonna tell you. How’s that grab ya? You’ll have to come back here next week and find out for yourself.

See what I did there? I’ve created curiosity within you. Now you don’t know whether she’ll be writing about rafting on the Colorado River, raspberry jam or rack-and-pinion steering. And it’s going to eat away at you all week. I’m just a crafty little devil sometimes, aren’t I?

Make it a great week… now get out there and write something terrific!

You can start by writing in the comments what you think I was about to say regarding Linda’s topic for next week. That ought to be fun.

It’s Official! My Women in Publishing Summit Talk is Approved

If you didn’t hear that raucous whoop of delight earlier from the vicinity of the Cumberland Plateau in Tennessee, I’m kind of surprised.

At 4:01 Central Time Friday afternoon, an email dropped into my in box. From the organizer of the Women in Publishing Summit 2021, it read in part, “Our team has reviewed your presentation and it has been approved!”

I can scarcely describe my exhilaration as I read those eleven words. After I uploaded my presentation Wednesday night, I felt such relief at having that task crossed off my to-do list (ten days early). It never occurred to me to be nervous about it. Dreading, sure; nervous, nah! Although, to be honest, I’d been antsy about using Zoom to record the talk because, well, technology (hey, I still use a flip phone).

I first mentioned the conference in this blog post several weeks back. And now I can give you more details. The conference kicks off March 1 and runs through March 8. It’s an international event, geared toward women in various aspects of the publishing world: writing, editing, design, publishing, marketing.

This past summer, the organizers put out a call for workshop leaders. I’d led several workshops on character development and figured I had just as good a shot as anyone. So I sent in my proposal. Months later, I got an email saying they’d fielded hundreds of submissions and were busy culling through them; they expected to narrow it down to 50 finalists in a few weeks’ time.

The next email informed me I was a finalist. In the third email, they extended an invitation to be a workshop presenter. From more than 200 applicants, they invited about 30 speakers, all credentialed experts in their respective fields.

We had the first of two meet-and-greet Zoom calls this past Tuesday, with about half the presenters – women hailing from all over the U.S., as well as Canada, England, Germany, Bahrain and South Africa. Each is a bona fide expert in her particular field. I’m honored and humbled to be counted among them.

Each day of the conference will focus on a different aspect of the overall process, from writing and editing to design, publishing and marketing. They’ll feature fiction, nonfiction and children’s tracks in all five areas.

In my presentation, scheduled for Day 3, we’ll go over how to create a realistic three-dimensional character; then we’ll create a scene… and finally, we’ll take “show, don’t tell” to a new level. It’ll be fun. I promise.

Plus, because the whole conference is online, you can watch individual sessions as your own schedule permits.

And if you sign up now, you get to take advantage of early-bird pricing! The full week of sessions (including what promises to be a killer one-on-one chat with Jane Friedman and a live interview with Brooke Warner to close out the event on International Women’s Day) is a mere $97… but only until February 14. Then this sweetheart of a deal goes away and the price goes up to $147. And if you wait until the conference begins, you’d have to pay $197 for your all-access pass. And you don’t want to have to do that, do you?

So listen to your Persnickety Proofreader, huh? Click here to get your pass now. Where else can you get seven full days of literary advice and inspiration from women at the top of their profession for less than a hundred bucks?